Beads
by moms5thchild
Summary: Tony DiNozzo has a sleepless night


This story jumped into my head demanding I get it finished NOW. Pushy little one shot, but in the end I'm happy with it. Thank you, my beta, for getting it back to me quickly.

**Beads**

Tony DiNozzo slunk out of Gibbs' home, not because he wanted to sleep in his own bed, but because he couldn't see himself doing anything else. Gibbs had offered him the bed in the spare room, the couch in the living room… hell, even the work table in the basement but Tony did not want to share anymore tonight.

Was Dana Hutton really his Laura? He'd watched her on ZNN for over a year; she was beautiful, blond and brave. Women he admired, wonderful women became his personal nightmare; his bete noir. Lately, whenever sleep came to Anthony DiNozzo the faces of women he couldn't save haunted him. Kate, Paula, Jenny, and now Dana needed a saviour and all he could be was a fool. Why couldn't he find a beautiful, smart coward?

Tony barely noticed as his car picked up speed, block after block, mile after mile until his driving would give Ziva a run for her money. Ninety five miles an hour! Hell, even Gibbs would be impressed. He fish tailed his Mustang round the last corner and laid down rubber as he pulled into his parking space.

"Ta da," Tony sighed as he shut down the engine. He made it home alive; obviously only the good die young.

Tony was now on automatic pilot. Outside to inside to elevator and up he didn't have to think, he just kept moving. Opened his door, shucked off his coat, shed all his clothing as he went to his bathroom and stood under a steaming shower. Tony the clockwork doll finally winding down. The last thing he did was find his gun and lock it up in his gun safe. He was a good little agent, who put his sidearm to bed before he slid under the covers.

0o0o0

"_Antonio, bambino; wake up for me."_

"_Nona," Anthony's eyes popped open and he smiled. "Today is the day."_

"_Yes, today you make your First Holy Communion. You wear the nice blue suit I buy for you. Put the nice ribbon on your arm and put the medal of St. Antonio du Padua round your neck. Then we go get your Mama and we go to the church and you become one with Jesus."_

"_Yes Nona." Little Anthony was so excited. Mama would come home from the hospital today and Papa would come to church too. Great uncle Guido would say mass in the little chapel at school and the whole family would be together for the first time since Mama got sick. That would be the best part. _

"_One more thing," Nona smiled and handed Tony one more gift. "This is for my big boy."_

_Tony opened the jewelers' box. Inside, nestled in white satin, was a beautiful rosary. The heavy silver crucifix hung on a chain that lead to five sparkling green beads and then a silver medal of the Virgin and fifty four more of the green beads in sets of ten with a single bead in between._

"_See, Antonio, this is the colour of your eyes. This is a special present to help you when you pray. Tonight, after we take your Mama back to the hospital we will pray the rosary for her to get better; right, my bambino."_

"_Right Nona; this will be sure to make Mama better."_

0o0o0

Tony snapped awake. Damn. Out of the bed and into the kitchen, he didn't even turn on the lights when he reached into the cupboard over the sink and pulled down his bottle of Jack. He didn't even bother with a glass, just opened it up and drank. Turning to the living room, Tony dropped into his recliner and took another pull on his bottle. Nona wouldn't think too much of her little bambino now, would she?

0o0o0

"_Tony, how many times do I have to tell you, stay out of my desk, stay off my computer and stay away from my purse."_

_He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on his desk. "Come on, Kate, I'm just trying to get to know my partner better."_

"_You could ask me instead of violating my privacy!"_

_Tony laughed, "It doesn't take much to violate you." He sidled past his fuming partner and headed to the men's room. Once there Tony emptied his pockets of the zippered bags he taken from Kate's purse. "What do we have here?"_

_The biggest bag held cosmetics, dusty rose lipstick and mauve eye shadow; mundane, ordinary and dull. The heaviest bag was filled with coins. Laundry day was obviously coming. Tony unzipped the smallest bag and a small, pearl rosary slipped into his hand. _

"_This is a special present to help you when you pray."_

_The voice of his grandmother shamed him as Tony held the white beads in his hand. Quickly he slipped the rosary back into its bag and shoved all the packages back into his pocket. At his desk he concentrated on his paperwork until Kate headed down to Abby's lab and then he sneaked the bags back into Kate's purse._

"_DiNozzo, whatcha doing there?"_

"_Learning to mind my own business, Boss," Tony shrugged as he dropped his loot back in Kate's bag._

_Gibbs watched his senior field agent slink back to his desk, "'bout time, DiNozzo."_

0o0o0

Sirens! Tony jolted awake when a fire truck sailed by his apartment building. He stumbled to the window, looking for what called the emergency units into the night.

Damn, where was that bottle? If he kicked it over the whole place would smell like a distillery until he could get the carpets shampooed. Of course, if he just headed to bed from here he'd be far enough away from the bottle that he wouldn't have to worry about that knocking it over.

Good idea, DiNozzo, just go to bed. Maybe there was enough liquor inside him to knock him out.

0o0o0

_Abby Sciuto stamped her Doc Martins as she backed Tony out of her lab. "I can't go clubbing. I promised Sister Rosita I'd be there tonight."_

"_Come on, Abbs, I've got tickets to the Skinny Puppy reunion. I got them especially for your birthday." Tony whined as he backed into the hallway. "It's not like I can give these to Ziva or Ducky. They don't appreciate the music the way you do." _

_Abby twisted her left braid, "when does the show start?"_

"_Nine o'clock, we can be a little late. I'll pick you up at the convent."_

_Abby's grin would have lit up the darkest night. "Perfect, Sister Rosita will understand if I don't stay for tea and cookies. Be there at eight o'clock."_

"_Your wish is my command," with that Tony turned and bounced to the elevator. He was going to win the 'who can get Abby the coolest birthday present' this year; so much better than another bouquet of black roses._

_Tony made it to the convent at seven thirty, hoping he could get Abby out ASAP and they could get some drinks before the show started. The front door of the building was unlocked and opened so Tony simply went inside to look for his 'bestest' friend. The smell of candle gas and the soft susurration of voices drew him further into the convent than he had ever been before and now Tony knew he was in front of the chapel doors. Quietly he slipped inside. There, on the altar, was Abby; her hands moving in a graceful dance as Sister Rosita lead the rosary for the people gathered there. So many times Tony had seen Gibbs' and Abby's agile conversations and fumed because he did not understand what was being said. Here, he knew all the words and even if he didn't Sister Rosita's voice played counter point to Abby's movements. Tony watched as the prayers came to an end and he moved his hand up, down and from side to side as he made the sign of the cross with Abby._

_Abby rushed off the altar to him. "Tony… Tony… Tony… you have got to meet Sister Rosita. She wondered who the good looking guy in the back was."_

"_Of course, I'd love to meet the famous bowling nun." Tony tucked Abby's hand onto his elbow. "Do you do this often?"_

"_The rosary; I help once a month to give Mrs. Daley a break." She reached up and tweaked his ear. "You ought to come sometime. It wouldn't hurt you."_

"_I'd be afraid the roof would cave in on my head," he joked._

"_It didn't this time and it won't next time."_

0o0o0

Tony snapped on his bedside light. Sleep was not going to come easy tonight. Looking down at his hand, he could still feel Dana Hutton's small fingers as they went still and cool in his grasp. She had nobody there for her except one beaten down federal agent. It didn't matter if a person was beautiful or brave or famous, in the end all that mattered was if there was someone who cared about you. Tony cared, it broke his heart but he cared enough to be there when Dana Hutton slipped into the next world.

"Do you think I'll see my family?" Dana's voice was weak and trembling.

He had to be truthful. "I don't know. I hope so."

"If I can, I'll be there for you."

"Dana, if there's going to be someone for me, it'll be my mother and grandmother… and maybe my friend, Kate. You'll be busy with your own family. Dana?"

She had gone so quietly Tony didn't even notice her leave this earthly coil.

Tony got up and went to his dresser, pulling open the top drawer and taking out his jewelery box. His Nona had been talking to him all night, but he'd been so wrapped up in feeling sorry for himself and sorry for all the things he could not change Tony didn't listen to what he was being told. Out of the worn white satin box he pulled his heavy green rosary. It had been a lot of years since he had wanted, willingly, to feel those beads slip through his fingers as he meditated on the mysteries they evoked. What would Ziva or McGee say if they could see him now? It didn't matter because he was finally beginning to understand what his Nona said when she gave it to him so many years ago.

"_This is a special present to help you when you pray." _

Tonight, Tony DiNozzo held his Nona's special present and let her help him as he prayed.

fin


End file.
